He is angry or overwhelmed

Anger may be what you see, but fear, shame or grief may be underneath.

Anger can be a trauma response, but it is not an excuse for abuse, threats or unsafe behaviour.

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 000.

What may be happening

Anger can sometimes sit on top of fear, shame, grief or helplessness.

He may not know how to say "I'm hurt" or "I'm scared", so anger may be the only feeling that shows.

I can see this is big right now.

I want to understand, but I can't do that while we're yelling.

Let's pause and come back to this.

I'm not leaving, but I need us to be safe.

Do you need space?

We can talk when things feel calmer.

Calm down.

You're overreacting.

You're just like everyone else.

This is why I can't talk to you.

You're being ridiculous.

You're out of control.

Keep yourself safe. Supporting him does not mean staying in an unsafe situation.

Keep your voice low.

Do not crowd him.

Pause the conversation if it is escalating.

Make safety the priority.

Do not match anger with anger.

Come back to the conversation later if possible.

You can be compassionate without accepting unsafe behaviour.

If you are worried he is not safe right now,