What should I say?
Sometimes the hardest part is not caring. It is knowing what words to use.
You do not need perfect words. Calm, honest and respectful words are enough.
When he tells you what happened
I believe you.
I'm really sorry that happened to you.
You do not have to tell me everything.
Thank you for trusting me.
When he feels ashamed
What happened was not your fault.
You are not broken.
I do not see you differently.
You deserved protection, not silence.
When he pulls away
I can give you space.
I'm still here.
We do not have to solve this right now.
I care about you, even when it is hard.
When he says he is fine
Okay. I won't push.
I'm here if that changes.
Would anything practical help right now?
You do not have to carry everything alone.
When he is triggered
You are safe right now.
We can slow down.
Would it help to slow down and focus on what is around you?
Do you want quiet, space, or company?
When he refuses help
I cannot force you, but I care about you.
You deserve support when you are ready.
Would it help if I found some options and left them with you?
I'm not giving up on you.
When he says he is broken
You are not broken.
What happened to you was wrong.
Surviving does not make you less of a man.
I still see you.
When he feels embarrassed
You do not need to be embarrassed with me.
I'm not judging you.
This does not change your worth.
You are allowed to go at your own pace.
When touch feels difficult
Would touch feel okay right now?
We can sit nearby without touching.
You do not have to explain.
I'm not offended.
When you need to set a boundary
I care about you, and I also need us to stay safe.
I want to keep talking, but not while we are yelling.
I'm going to pause this conversation and come back when things are calmer.
I'm not leaving you. I'm taking a moment so we do not hurt each other.
You do not need the perfect words. Presence and sincerity matter more than polish.
If you are worried he is not safe right now,
Go to: I'm worried about his safety →